As I sit here in this cafe downtown, I don’t feel as hip as the other patrons.  Or as alternative.  Or as free-spirited.  It feels like I’m providing them with a subject to stare over their shoulders at, like older sisters.  To forget my akwardness, I look through a very tall window at my side. 

A teenage girl out the window is talking with a circle of friends.  She smokes a tobacco pipe easily.  There is something about her that I want - an ambiguity, a normalcy, a community, a tobacco pipe.  She is a young girl doing as old men do.  She is a beautiful connundrum. 

They look dirty, rumpled and artistic.  The circle of artist friends I’ve read of in writers’ books look disappointingly homeless through a window frame.  some lean against a nearby tree.  Some sit on the concrete with dry weeds in the cracks. 

Some of the most awesome spiritual giants look disappointingly homeless in person.  Who knows if they really are homeless?  Who knows if they stepped, or fell into such dirty sneakers? 

I bought a pair of red high heels today.  They are to match a dress I will wear to a wedding.  I don’t know the couple though.  The bride is a business associate of my husband.

Is it terrible of me to buy shoes for a stranger’s wedding, when Jesus was more like the kids on the cement?  In the Bible story, Martha hosted a dinner party for him.  With flustered feathers, she lit candles, served hors d’oeuvres and entertained guests.  She may have even bought red high heel shoes for the occasion.  Her sister Mary was sitting on the floor with dirty sneakers.  She was on the floor with Jesus, the guest of honor.  Jesus told Martha, in a manner of speaking, that her red shoes would not last as long as Mary’s sneakers.  Dirty sneakers on the floor with Jesus were better than new heels in honor of Jesus.  Mary was with Jesus.  Martha was around Jesus. 

Now, I think my red shoes look great.  I relish dressing up  to celebrate, oh, anything!  I’m trying to reconcile both aspects in my mind.  As I wrestle the issues down, I suppose I shouldn’t try to build a theology on my shoes, as pretty as they may be.  Lord, can you help a girl with red high heel shoes?

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 19th, 2007 at 11:11 am and is filed under Around Town, People of Faith. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.